I, like millions of other twenty somethings, have made some questionable decisions. I have steered my life in numerous wrong directions. I have been lost, afraid, and fake. I think the worst of these is fake. I spent years pretending I was _____________ [insert anything really: cool, happy, certain of my future, fulfilled, shall I continue?] I am blessed to have an abnormally wonderful family and group of friends. So why couldn't I figure it out? The advice I sought was crappy. The summary? In your twenties, you need to: know what your life plan is, be financially stable, never be sad about ANYTHING, and find fulfillment in a man by being a little bombshell- by all means, not being yourself. Sound familiar to anyone?
I received so much positive feedback from THIS POST that I realized a lot of my readers were probably craving something more than pink sweaters and leopard pants. Don't get me wrong, I'll still write about those things. But those things aren't going to change your life.
I know that post was motivating for many, but just in case you want a little more guidance than a weirdo like me could ever provide, I'm sharing a very special site with you:
WWAGT (“What Would A Guy Think”) Syndrome, perpetuated by Cosmo magazine and MTV and— well, every single woman I’d ever idolized (including Britney Spears and her red hot catsuit outfit). “What would a guy think of these jeans? Of this dress? What would a guy think if I got straight A's??” Without ever really realizing it, I found myself asking these questions at every turn. Somehow, men had become what defined me. If they saw worth in me, I saw worth in myself, although it was a false sort of worth— the kind that was based on a carefully groomed exterior and not from the true self within. And if they didn’t— well, neither did I. It was as if I had a radar pointing constantly outward, searching, seeking, scanning for my next source of definition, as if I were saying, “Tell me who I am” (and it’d better be “Dayumm. Girl. Sexy.”). Power, as it turned out, was to have the approval of dudes. It was to be Fergalicious, bootylicious, so delicious. I didn’t see that I had it all wrong, though— that in seeking this approval, I was in fact turning over my power. I couldn’t see that in revolving my life around someone else’s opinions and reactions and standards, I was actually experiencing the ultimate loss of power— I was allowing my very center to lie outside of myself. This, my friends, is the Great Cosmo Hoax: that in living our lives based around men, we are in fact turning over the very power and magnetism and love that we believe we’re receiving."
For the rest of that article, click here. I am glad someone has realized we can all forge our own paths and lead great lives. If you feel like you could benefit, visit The Unlost or LIKE it on Facebook. The relief you feel when you understand you don't need to struggle into the mold anymore will astound you.
Photo Credit by Helga Weber