Thursday, September 13, 2012

Sigh. Ladies.

So, I should keep my mouth shut on this one, but I can't. Famous last words, right?

There are a lot of blog posts circulating these days regarding "dressing for yourself vs. dressing for a man."

And I'm sorry, but what? This is a thing?? I can't even.

The mention of statement necklaces, top knots, maxi dresses and red lipstick are being repeated over and over. Apparently men hate these things, and if you want your man to love you- then you shouldn't wear them.

And so I sighed the heaviest of sighs in all of the land.

If I am not mistaken, the best thing you can wear is confidence. If you feel smokin' hot in a maxi dress WITH a statement necklace PLUS a top knot AND the reddest [or hot pink-est] lips anyone has ever seen, go for it. If you feel good in a skin tight bandage dress and sky-high heels, then wear it. If you feel most like yourself in double-denim, then by all means, get that Canadian Tuxedo on your body ASAP.

And if "your man" has a "problem" with it, like a serious problem- then I have upsetting news... I don't think your relationship has been built on the proper foundation.

Now, don't get me wrong, I understand putting a new look together and feeling 100% uncertain about it- you don't know if those pants work with that top or if your eyeliner makes you look like a raccoon. You wander to the living room and say "honey... does this... look okay?" and they say no and so you change it and repeat the process. Advice is one thing. But dressing WITH the intention of making your significant other happy, that is annoying. I'm sorry to every single blog reader I lose by saying that, but it is annoying.

You see, your significant other should be happy when you feel good about yourself, and are happy with yourself, and feel like you could conquer the world. THAT is what they should want for you- for you to have the most self-esteem possible. NOT for you to look like an object that they enjoy by the standards that they have set.

The whole point of my blog post is this: 

When you get dressed in the morning, wear what makes YOU happy. Put on your favorite outfit, do your hair and makeup just how you like, and try to have the best day of your life ever. Because you look awesome JUST LIKE THAT.


  1. AMEN.
    Kelli, this post only made me love you more! I work at a hair salon and cringe every time a woman comes in and says "I really want to do something short and sassy, but my boyfriend likes my hair long.... so... just a trim!"
    Do you. Maxi dress, buzz cut or otherwise. Nothing looks as good as confidence.

  2. So true Kelli! Thanks for sharing :)

  3. Love. Love. Love.
    Guys dont get it, so why bother making them understand?
    I dress for what I like, and if anything, we ladies seek other ladies approval, since they do get it.
    Do you, and no one else.

  4. Thank you! I hate when girls let their men tell them what they can and can not wear! Most guys don't have much of a fashion sense anyway. Same goes with decor. So many of my friends let their husbands decorate their places like bachelor pads! ew.

  5. I love this post :) You said it all very well!

  6. Love it! Confidence is the best accessory for sure. Personally I feel like women dress for other women more than their man... I have a good man but my mom and girl friends notice my accessories or cuffed skinny jeans before him every time! Haha! Btw I love following you on IG! You and your bf are thee cutest and I want to see your apt! :)

  7. amazing. It's nice to see a bunch of girls with so much confidence..

  8. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's all. ;)

    xxx from Germany
    - Laura

  9. AMEN!! Love this post! My boyfriend hates the "topnot" but I wear it anyway, it keeps my hair out of my face! lol He gives me advice on outfits, but would never say don't wear that because I don't like it.

  10. Amen from me as well! Well said and 100% true! I'm single, and I'm still rocking ALL the outfits that I love. The right man will see right past my harem jump suit, red lipstick and topknot, and I'm willing to wait for that!

    Maja -

  11. i'm not much of a commenter BUT HECK YES, AMEN TO THAT!! i never knew women/girls/ladies/females stressed just for the men in their lives. who knew?!

  12. So happy you wrote this. When I read that post by Raven I was speechless... I love maxi dresses and I wear a sock bun more often than I should, cardigans are a stable in the changing SF weather, and hey, I believe in equality for women so I like to think of myself as a feminist, so because of that, apparently men hate me! Who knew?!

    I also love my "anal bead" bubble necklace.

    Raven cracks me up... it's interesting (in a slightly scary way) to see how the other side lives and thinks.

  13. Amen sister! You have a life long reader in me. I have 2 small daughters and the last thing I want them to do is to try and seek validation from someone else. Confidence is the most attractive thing you can wear absolutely!

  14. Love it! And totally agree. A guy will love you for who you are, not what you wear. But I do think it's nice to dress for your guy on special occasions when you know it's something he'll really love :)

    1. YES, Sara! I just replied to this post below before seeing your response, and I totally agree. It's fun to dress up for my husband knowing that he will enjoy what I have on. I don't let it dictate everything I wear, but I do enjoy doing that for him sometimes.

  15. YES. my boyfriend hates that my hair is "blonde" (but actually ombre), however i LOVE it. i also ask him if he likes my outfits, and when he replys with "meh" i tell him he doesn't know fashion and my friends will like it. what is his opinion worth anyways :p

  16. haha! Great post. It's so funny, I will come home from shopping and my husband always HATES what I buy. As much as I want him to love what I wear, it doesn't stop me from wearing those things. Besides...he doesn't know anything about fashion so I can't let his opinion rule my closet. Have a good weekend. xoxo

  17. Right on girl! This is so true! You cannot be happy unless you are happy with yourself! And if you aren't dressing for yourself how happy can you be?!


  18. Good post, lady. I also think an element that we need to acknowledge is that a woman needs to let her man like what he likes and not like what he doesn't like. If my husband doesn't like my beloved maxi dress, so be it. I'll still wear it and be ok with the fact that it's not his favorite thing on me. If women make the effort to dress for themselves (a very good thing), that should necessarily include letting their men have the freedom to like or dislike the clothing choices. Just like men shouldn't be allowed to dictate what women wear, women shouldn't be allowed to dictate what men *should* find attractive. My husband often comments on how "weird" some of my clothes are, and it makes me laugh. I know he doesn't like all of my clothes, but I know he still finds me beautiful and alluring. And you know what? I really enjoy choosing to wear certain items in my closet I know he loves on me -- it's fun for me, in that way at that time, to give him something special I know he will like. I really don't see anything wrong with that if it's an expression of love for him and not out of some crazy "DRESS SO MEN WILL LOVE YOU" desperation. But if we're not ok with our men not liking all our clothing choices, then we're really not dressing for ourselves. We're using clothes as a means to force men to change (or lie about changing) their preferences, and that isn't progressive and independent, nor is it the behavior of truly happy women.

  19. yes! a thousand times yes! my husfriend just laughs at me and tells me that he "doesn't even ask anymore," haha!

  20. Love the post!! You are SOO right, and confidence is by far the best look ever!


Thank you for reading! xoKelli