Sunday, January 19, 2014
Today's post is more about satisfying my need to write it, but I do hope some of you can relate. As a disclaimer, I actually wrote the bulk of this a week ago. And on that note, I've written and re-written about a dozen similar posts yet never hit the publish button. There's something about posting something personal that makes me crave a level of privacy. I won't go into exact details, but I do think it's important to share what's been going on. I don't want my blog to be a space for "picture perfect moments;" I want people to know that I'm a human with struggles and occasionally fall off the grid. Anyways.
For the past few months, I've turned into a full-time worrier. I've allowed stress and anxiety to become a dominant factor in my life. I'm getting pretty exhausted. What's most aggravating about this constant dread is that I'm spending my energy worrying about things that are entirely out of my control. I get super focused on really toxic, negative situations and allow my mind to travel down the long and winding road of "worst case scenarios." Then, of course, I worry about those scenarios as if they are reality. Then, obviously, I worry about what all this negative energy is doing to my health and well being. I feel really frustrated because I have to change my thought process, and for some reason, that's just been really hard to do. My evenings have become a series of breathing exercises and lavender eye pillows and telling myself over and over and over again to just relax. I feel this anxiety residing in the pit of my stomach and the uneasiness makes its way into [what seems like] every minute of my day. Like I said, exhausted.
Yesterday, I posted this picture with an uplifting caption. I have run out of "magic solutions" and realized the only thing I can do is force myself to think positive thoughts. I am blocking the negative energy, and when it starts to creep back in- I need to stop it in its tracks. I have made a little list of ways to get over this hurdle and back to my normal self/normal way of life, but would love suggestions from you. How do you handle toxic energy and stress? How do you refocus your thoughts and stay on track? At this point… I'm ready to try anything.
As always, I must express my gratitude to you for reading. I am relieved to have a space where I can share, no matter how vague or open-ended it may seem. Thank you.