Friday, January 23, 2015

Thoughts: Wedding Planning

So, when we first got engaged - I was under the impression that I'd be blogging throughout the planning process. (It's like a dream excuse for constant blog content.) Now, basically 10 months later, I haven't posted a single thing about our upcoming nuptials. (Insert awkward whistling.)

You see, it turns out I am an anti-bride. I am totally shocked, appalled, unsettled... FREAKED OUT... by this news. When I was little, I had a wedding gown in my "dress up box." (It was adorable.) On a road trip with my youth group in 9th grade, I pored over my leader's bridal magazines - even going as far to rip out a picture of my "dream dress." (It was really similar to this.) When a coworker got married in college, I offered to help with every single detail - from choosing centerpieces to making sure the music was queued for the first dance. Given my track record, I sort of assumed that I'd basically be J.Lo - headset and all.

A few weeks after we'd gotten back from Mexico, I curled up with my first stack of bridal magazines. I had patiently waited for this moment (I'm against planning a wedding - or even so much as pinning a pin - before you meet the groom) and was ready to savor every single detail. Yet, page after page, I felt the frustration build that the events and tips featured were so... girly. Pinks and purples and sequins galore, no event seemed like it was quite a fit for our big day. Every featured wedding looked like a darn Easter egg. Maybe it's because Tim is an artist and has opinions on these things, and quite frankly - better taste than I do. But I just knew that a pastel wedding with macarons at every place setting would be inappropriate and so not us. It'd be beautiful, but not "us." As I neared the end of the first magazine, I felt a little discouraged and let my brain shut down on all things wedding. I put the topic on the back burner, where it (occasionally) still resides.

Pair that experience with wedding dress shopping, which I'll dive into more on a later day, and I was off to a rough start.

I kept avoiding planning the details, but slowly got the larger pieces put into place. We have the date set (June 13),  a venue (my dad's lavender farm),  a dress (it's white, and not the one I linked to above), a caterer, an officiant, my dream photographers, and a general idea of the vibe we've got in mind. Most of the large, important things are in place. But when it comes to the things that took serious thought and work - guest list, save the dates, invitations, tables & chairs, what time the ceremony should start - I would start to panic and think "OH... I'll just do it another day." And the days passed and suddenly it was Christmas and I felt like we had done nothing. I never actually pictured what it really meant to plan a wedding, and I especially never considered that I'd dislike it.

I think I've avoided blogging about this because I'm almost ashamed to admit this has been the case. I'm an editor, a stylist, an obsessive aesthete - shouldn't I be foaming at the mouth for this stuff? Really, though, I finally realized it's okay that I'm not. A wedding isn't just a pretty party or a photo shoot. It's 2 people who are publicly vowing their love for each other. And also becoming a new family. And also dancing. And at the end of the day, I just cannot wait to be Tim's wife - whether the wedding is awesome or not.

I've still got this looming cloud over my head - like I'm overlooking the importance of escort cards or that by not hiring a DJ, I am going to have complete chaos during the reception. But I also finally have that burst of excitement and have felt more enticed to focus on the little details that will make the day special for us and our guests. On June 13, I am going to be Tim's wife - new last name and all. (And on Wednesday, the Save the Dates will be mailed... only 2 months late.)

For my married readers, did you ever encounter similar feelings? Or did you love the planning process? Would love to hear about your experiences!

[Image Credit: Elisabeth Marzetti for Love My Dress]


  1. I got totally overwhelmed at the 6 month mark, too. There just seems to be an unending list of things to do. With our crazy schedules, the last thing we wanted to do on our days off was talk about seating charts, hotel blocks or invitations. To stay on track, we turned wedding planning into dates and would tackle multiple items in one day/evening (usually with a bottle of wine....ok sometimes two). It made it a lot more fun and less stressful.

    I also highly recommend getting a Day of Coordinator that will take care of the timeline and vendor coordination and any last minute emergencies so you and your family can just enjoy the day. The ladies at Soiree were AH-MAZING and if there were any glitches, I had no idea haha Best of luck with the final months! No matter what happens, your day will be perfect because you get to marry your Man :)

  2. When my husband and I got engaged, we were under the impression we could wait on our nuptials for at least one year (ideally two). However, my husband received orders from the military to report to a new command, bumping up our timeline considerably and giving us a mere 4 months to get a wedding together before whisking away to a cross-country destination.
    I was very very very overwhelmed, to say the least. Somehow we pulled it off, had a great time, and were able to begin our lives together successfully and happily. I am not a mushy, pastel-loving, decadent type of person either, so while stressful at the time, it left me less time to ponder on insignificant details and focus on the basics, and most husband to be.
    Are there things I would do differently, now that it's eight years later and I know my exact tastes and person? Absolutely. I would completely change the style, season, etc...but I'm grateful I was able to focus on the significance of what my wedding actually was, and be the most excited about getting to marry my guy above all else.
    You will have hiccups (trust me) with even the most detailed plans, so it's wonderful you have such a clear focus on what your wedding is actually about. And dancing. ;-)
    PS--LOVE your wedding date. It's my younger daughter's birthday!

  3. Planning a wedding can be very stressful. I think that it is totally normal that you feel a bit overwhelmed by everything that you still need to do. After all, it is the biggest day of your life that you have to plan! To add to that, you still have to work at your day job. Trust me, it gets easier. Just smile through the process and enjoy!

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Thank you for reading! xoKelli