Friday, January 23, 2015

Thoughts: Wedding Planning


So, when we first got engaged - I was under the impression that I'd be blogging throughout the planning process. (It's like a dream excuse for constant blog content.) Now, basically 10 months later, I haven't posted a single thing about our upcoming nuptials. (Insert awkward whistling.)

You see, it turns out I am an anti-bride. I am totally shocked, appalled, unsettled... FREAKED OUT... by this news. When I was little, I had a wedding gown in my "dress up box." (It was adorable.) On a road trip with my youth group in 9th grade, I pored over my leader's bridal magazines - even going as far to rip out a picture of my "dream dress." (It was really similar to this.) When a coworker got married in college, I offered to help with every single detail - from choosing centerpieces to making sure the music was queued for the first dance. Given my track record, I sort of assumed that I'd basically be J.Lo - headset and all.

A few weeks after we'd gotten back from Mexico, I curled up with my first stack of bridal magazines. I had patiently waited for this moment (I'm against planning a wedding - or even so much as pinning a pin - before you meet the groom) and was ready to savor every single detail. Yet, page after page, I felt the frustration build that the events and tips featured were so... girly. Pinks and purples and sequins galore, no event seemed like it was quite a fit for our big day. Every featured wedding looked like a darn Easter egg. Maybe it's because Tim is an artist and has opinions on these things, and quite frankly - better taste than I do. But I just knew that a pastel wedding with macarons at every place setting would be inappropriate and so not us. It'd be beautiful, but not "us." As I neared the end of the first magazine, I felt a little discouraged and let my brain shut down on all things wedding. I put the topic on the back burner, where it (occasionally) still resides.

Pair that experience with wedding dress shopping, which I'll dive into more on a later day, and I was off to a rough start.

I kept avoiding planning the details, but slowly got the larger pieces put into place. We have the date set (June 13),  a venue (my dad's lavender farm),  a dress (it's white, and not the one I linked to above), a caterer, an officiant, my dream photographers, and a general idea of the vibe we've got in mind. Most of the large, important things are in place. But when it comes to the things that took serious thought and work - guest list, save the dates, invitations, tables & chairs, what time the ceremony should start - I would start to panic and think "OH... I'll just do it another day." And the days passed and suddenly it was Christmas and I felt like we had done nothing. I never actually pictured what it really meant to plan a wedding, and I especially never considered that I'd dislike it.

I think I've avoided blogging about this because I'm almost ashamed to admit this has been the case. I'm an editor, a stylist, an obsessive aesthete - shouldn't I be foaming at the mouth for this stuff? Really, though, I finally realized it's okay that I'm not. A wedding isn't just a pretty party or a photo shoot. It's 2 people who are publicly vowing their love for each other. And also becoming a new family. And also dancing. And at the end of the day, I just cannot wait to be Tim's wife - whether the wedding is awesome or not.

I've still got this looming cloud over my head - like I'm overlooking the importance of escort cards or that by not hiring a DJ, I am going to have complete chaos during the reception. But I also finally have that burst of excitement and have felt more enticed to focus on the little details that will make the day special for us and our guests. On June 13, I am going to be Tim's wife - new last name and all. (And on Wednesday, the Save the Dates will be mailed... only 2 months late.)

For my married readers, did you ever encounter similar feelings? Or did you love the planning process? Would love to hear about your experiences!

[Image Credit: Elisabeth Marzetti for Love My Dress]

5 comments:

  1. I got totally overwhelmed at the 6 month mark, too. There just seems to be an unending list of things to do. With our crazy schedules, the last thing we wanted to do on our days off was talk about seating charts, hotel blocks or invitations. To stay on track, we turned wedding planning into dates and would tackle multiple items in one day/evening (usually with a bottle of wine....ok sometimes two). It made it a lot more fun and less stressful.

    I also highly recommend getting a Day of Coordinator that will take care of the timeline and vendor coordination and any last minute emergencies so you and your family can just enjoy the day. The ladies at Soiree were AH-MAZING and if there were any glitches, I had no idea haha Best of luck with the final months! No matter what happens, your day will be perfect because you get to marry your Man :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. When my husband and I got engaged, we were under the impression we could wait on our nuptials for at least one year (ideally two). However, my husband received orders from the military to report to a new command, bumping up our timeline considerably and giving us a mere 4 months to get a wedding together before whisking away to a cross-country destination.
    I was very very very overwhelmed, to say the least. Somehow we pulled it off, had a great time, and were able to begin our lives together successfully and happily. I am not a mushy, pastel-loving, decadent type of person either, so while stressful at the time, it left me less time to ponder on insignificant details and focus on the basics, and most importantly...my husband to be.
    Are there things I would do differently, now that it's eight years later and I know my exact tastes and person? Absolutely. I would completely change the style, season, etc...but I'm grateful I was able to focus on the significance of what my wedding actually was, and be the most excited about getting to marry my guy above all else.
    You will have hiccups (trust me) with even the most detailed plans, so it's wonderful you have such a clear focus on what your wedding is actually about. And dancing. ;-)
    PS--LOVE your wedding date. It's my younger daughter's birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Planning a wedding can be very stressful. I think that it is totally normal that you feel a bit overwhelmed by everything that you still need to do. After all, it is the biggest day of your life that you have to plan! To add to that, you still have to work at your day job. Trust me, it gets easier. Just smile through the process and enjoy! http://www.MaternityBride.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me..My name is OLIVIA DEAN. and I base in London.My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end,and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa Justus who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called grace,she testified about how papa Justus brought back her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop papa Justus e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give papa a try.

    I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. papa Justus is really a talented and gifted man and i will not to stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man...If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great papa Justus today, he might be the answer to your problem. Here's his contact: drabeljustus@gmail.com
    Thank you great Justus. Contact him for the following:

    (1)If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3)You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4)You want women/men to run after you.
    (5)If you want a child.
    (6)[You want to be rich.
    (7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8)If you need financial assistance.
    (9)Herbal care
    10)Help bringing people out of prison
    (11)Marriage Spells
    (12)Miracle Spells
    (13)Beauty Spells
    (14)PROPHECY CHARM
    (15)Attraction Spells
    (16)Evil Eye Spells
    (17)Kissing Spell
    (18)Remove Sickness Spells
    (19)ELECTION WINNING SPELLS
    (20)SUCCESS IN EXAMS SPELLS
    (21) Charm to get who to love you.
    (22)Business spell.
    (23) Find your long lost family.
    Contact him today on:
    drabeljustus@gmail.com,
    +2347033354868.
    You can also CONTACT HIM ON whats-app on the same phone number.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I want to use this great opportunity to Testify how the Great prophet saved my marriage, I'm from California. I want to use this opportunity to thank the great DR FARA the Great who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man DR FARA brought my husband back to me after 6years of breakup in our marriage, and i already had 3 lovely kids for my husband, before he left me for another lady, because she charmed him In 2007 some years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel and some misunderstandings, life was so miserable for me, until he finally left me for the other lady. For 2years i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met an old friend of mine that was also in a situation like this but hers was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her.she told me that MINE was a small case and that i shouldn't worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solutions to my problems and she gave me this great mans phone number and his contact email address drfaraspelltemple@gmail.com i was doubting if this man was the solution, so contacted this great man and he told me what to do and I did them all, he told me to wait for just two day and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully did what this great man asked me to do and for sure immediately after two days i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him begging on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away,since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy family thats why I want to say a big thank you to DR FARA the Great doctor This great man made me to understand that there's no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem.
    (1) He will help you to Have promotion in
    anything you do.
    (2 )Earn a good money.
    (3)Success in business.
    (4)spiritual problems.
    (5) win court case.
    (6)Looking for a good man.
    (7)looking for job.
    (8)want to be in control of you marriage.
    (9)want to be attracted to people.
    (10)you have be scammed and u need your money
    back.
    (11)you have be working without promotion.
    (12)If you have any symptoms of sickness that is un cured
    (13)You have pregnancy problems with babies:
    (14)If you have problem about your womb,you
    want have or bear children.
    (If you have brain tumour, or mental problem, this is the time for you to contact him). You can Email
    or any problem that is similar, i will advise
    you to come straight to this great man.
    you can email drfaraspelltemple@gmail.com or call him with this number

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for reading! xoKelli